THE BOSS CALLS, go to Hooters for opening night of The Pitbull of Comedy, Bobby Slayton. WHO? OK, with no Hop, Wednesday is a slow night. The Hop is an old Vegas nightclub that is long gone, every Wednesday was "Ladies Night," and girls drank for $1. You would meet gaggles of girls who had been drinking too much; it was like being a Fox in a Hen House.

This is a different time, and Vegas is a different place. No longer do we find entertainment from each other; we pay for professional entertainment to have fun. Unhappily, one size does not fit all, and with the prohibitive cost for entertainers and shows it becomes difficult to please everyone, and most of all me. Joking around with a bunch of girls on a cheap drunk is more my kind of evening.

The Pitbull is performing in Hooters new nightclub, and it's the perfect venue for Comedy, an intimate room with good seats everywhere, but no smoke. I don't smoke, but what's comedy nightclub without a smoke-filled room? A doctor's office.

There were two performers before the Pitbull, Brad Trackman, and Brian Hayner. I enjoyed the different comedy of Brian Hayner; he was like a court minstrel, with his comedy coming from his song and guitar.

This is the first time I saw the Pitbull, and he is already licking me. He is extremely sure of himself on stage, with some very strong topics; I didn't care for the routine about his daughter. He used very little nasty language, and almost no "F" stuff.

Once again, one size does not fit all, but the Pitbull's comedy routine definitely calls for a smoke-filled room.

Unlike The Pitbull, I know Craig Ferguson; his TV show is on every night after David Letterman, and I was looking forward to seeing him. Since I saw both comics in the same week, I thought I would compare the two shows.

I do not like seeing performers in The Orleans showroom; it's setup more like a lecture room than a nightclub. No smoking, no cocktail waitresses, no style, it's just a big box.

This is Vegas Baby; the performers should NOT be dressed worst than the audience. Ferguson walked out in jeans and a T-shirt, with some papers hanging out of his back pocket. It looked like he just came from his day job, as a Handyman, I was VERY disappointed; I'm now calling him the "The Handyman of Comedy."

Although The Handyman had no strong topics, other than a long riff about his big member, he used a lot of "F" stuff. Bottom line, big disappointment for the week, he was not that funny. There was an opening act; he was dressed like a Busboy, and mildly funny.

Most people today do not speak clearly; the Handyman and the Pitbull were no exception. Both failed to enunciate, and even with their yelling, many times you could not understand them.

So who wins? I had more fun with the Pitbull than The Handyman, you be the judge.

Should I be this critical? Maybe we should remember Ed Wynn an old comic, who once said, "Death is Easy, Comedy is Hard."